For 12 seasons, Two and a Half Men was one of the most popular shows on television. It launched the career of Jon Cryer and re-launched the careers of both Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher. Until 2003, Sheen was mostly known for his movie work in the Major League and Hot Shots! movies, although some TV fans knew him from his stint on Spin City. His character on Two and a Half Men was modeled after his own life as a famous actor.
Succeeding Everybody Loves Raymond was not an easy task, but Two and a Half Men quickly found an audience with its cutesy premise and edgy humor. As the show took off, Sheen became the focal point, but not always in a good way. After season seven, he announced that he was taking a break from the show in order to go to rehab; what followed was a seemingly endless on-again, off again, relationship with the show, culminating with the producers deciding to write him out of the show for good and replace him with the less funny Kutcher.
Despite his on-screen (and off-screen) antics, Charlie’s attitude struck a chord with viewers. His character arc didn’t always make sense though, and throughout the series, we came to realize there were things about him that just didn’t track. In this list, we’ll look at some of Charlie’s traits that don’t seem to make sense. Have a look at our picks and let us know in the comments what you noticed about Charlie that isn’t consistent with the rest of the show.
Here are 20 Things That Don't Make Sense About Charlie Harper.
HIS BIRTH STORY
There are a bunch of things about Charlie’s birth story that just don’t track. First, his mother Evelyn apparently gave birth to him at 7 ½ months - which in itself isn’t unusual as babies are born prematurely all the time – but if that was the case, it wasn’t fully explained in the show. Then, Charlie was supposed to be a girl as his ultrasound didn’t show any, ahem, male parts.
Furthermore, Charlie was supposedly a drama queen growing up, but that part doesn’t seem to match his personality. Yes, he’s high maintenance and relies on a lot of other people to do things for him, but he’s not a diva and generally doesn’t boss people around or get upset when things aren’t done exactly the right way.
HE ASKED FOR A BROTHER BUT THEN CONSTANTLY BULLIED HIM
As the first born child, he asked his parents for a sibling. They agreed, and thus his brother Alan was born. Things start to veer when you look at how Charlie has treated Alan for most of his life though. He bullied Alan growing up, making fun of him on his first day of school and giving him wedgies whenever he could.
Charlie even told his friends that Alan was his shaved monkey growing up, since he always wanted one, causing Alan to be ridiculed at school. The abuse continued into adulthood to the point where Charlie criticizes Alan and Jake for always being around. This hardly seems like the actions of a guy who really wanted a brother as a kid.
HE DID awful THINGS AS A TEENAGER
Where do we start with this one? Not only did Charlie lip something into Alan’s pocket as a kid to make him look like he was shoplifting, but he also used Alan as a pawn all the time. Charlie started drinking and chain smoking as a teenager, and ran away several times. This caused him and Alan’s relationship with their mother to be strained, but luckily for Charlie, she didn’t’ mind because she didn’t care much for either of them.
At 16, Charlie tried to drive all the way to Mexico to escape home. Then, he almost married an exotic dancer at 17, but changed his mind at the last minute. Somehow he managed to escape all these escapades unscathed and even thrives as an adult. Not likely!
HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ALAN
As mentioned, Charlie’s relationship with Alan is constantly strained. It’s a great source of comedy for the show, but it just doesn’t make sense. Charlie complains about the two guys living with him, but doesn’t do anything about it.
Charlie also had a relationship with his ex-sister-in-law – more on that later – just to spite Alan for marrying Judith. And finally, Charlie called Alan “selfish” for suggesting they skip a movie because Alan suffered a nervous breakdown. The list goes on and on, but it’s pretty clear that the producers wanted us to ignore how truly awful Charlie can be to Alan for the sake of comedy.
HE HATES HIS SISTER-IN-LAW
Way back in the season 1 episode “I the Coatroom, but I Don't You,” Charlie wanted to get back at Alan for marrying Judith. Charlie thought the best way to get revenge would be to be with Liz, Judith’s sister.
The strife continued when it was revealed that Alan asked Liz out before he was with Judith, and the whole scenario descends into chaos. Charlie isn’t exactly the best at solving conflicts, and his go-to to get back at people seems to be to have a relationship with someone they’re close to.
HE HAS AN ESTRANGED DAUGHTER
One night, Charlie had a relationship with an unknown woman and conceived a daughter. We didn’t see her in the beginning, so it seems like the only reason this was thrown into the plot was to make Charlie look like even more of a sleazebag.
Much later in the series – season 11 – we finally meet Charlie’s estranged lesbian daughter, played by Amber Tamblyn. But, considering Charlie is dead when she returns, it seems the only reason for her presence is to show that she turned out exactly like her dad. The whole estranged daughter thing seemed like an asterisk from the beginning and never really went anywhere in the end.
HE TRIES TO GET JAKE DATES
As we just mentioned, Charlie wasn’t much of a father to his daughter Jenny, so it didn’t make a lot of sense that whenever he sat down with Jake, he mostly doled out bad advice and tried to hook him up with older women – even though Jake was a minor for most of the series.
At the same time, he often criticized Jakes and the writers used their relationship as a source of humor. Charlie often talked down to his nephew, calling him a “dwarf” and telling him he was destined to be a fry cook. Considering his track record with women, Charlie was hardly the one who should be giving dating advice to anyone, let alone a kid.
HE AVOIDS HIS MOTHER AT ALL COSTS
Okay, so we do know that both Charlie and Alan’s relationship with their mother was strained growing up. After their biological father died when they were both very young, their mother dated other men and the boys ended up having three different stepfathers throughout their childhood.
Charlie had an especially hard relationship with her, as he left home a number of times as an adolescent and worried her (although, not too much, as we already mentioned). As an adult, Alan was surprised to find out that Charlie didn’t even have their mother’s number in his phone. Both men do everything they can to avoid her, and even though this is somewhat explained by their rocky childhood, we don’t really know what that’s carried into adulthood.
HE’S NOT VERY ARTISTIC BUT GOT INTO JULLIARD
One of the things that have never sat well in Two and a Half Men is that Charlie somehow got into Julliard, a prestigious art school. We know that he drank, smoked, and ran away often as a teenager, so how is it possible that he was able to hunker down and study enough to get into art school? Sure, he writes jingles, but Julliard is one of the top schools in the country, so would that really be enough?
In any case, Charlie dropped out of Julliard to start doing his own thing. Obviously, the pressure and rigmarole of taking classes were too much for him at that point in his life. Nothing about Charlie’s personality, work habits, or appearance show us that he has the drive to be successful, but somehow, he is.
HE’S A MUSICIAN BUT HE HAS STAGE FRIGHT
Musicians are typically a social bunch. They write, record, and genuinely enjoy performing in front of large audiences. No, you don’t have to be an extrovert to be a musician, but it certainly helps. Charlie, on the other hand, seems fine with being reclusive, often doing his own thing, not paying attention to anyone else’s schedule but his own.
One thing we know about him is that he has stage fright. If that’s the case, how would he have the courage to share his jingles with the world? After all, these are songs featured in commercials seen around the world. Sure, he doesn’t have to perform them in front of people, but playing them in front of groups of executives would be the first step to becoming a successful jingle writer. Something here just doesn’t add up.
