The world of sports movies is a vast and chaotic one. With films that try their hardest to give an honest portrayal of their selected sport, to films like Mr. Go, where a baseball team turns it all-around by g a pinch-hitting gorilla.
The sport that has maybe had the most variance is basketball. The beautiful game of scoring baskets has been the focus of a number of classic, cult classic, or even despised films. It raises the question of how realistic the translation is to go from the hardwood to the soundstage. Here are five things that basketball movies get wrong, and five that aren't even close.
WRONG: Officiating
If one real-life basketball game managed to go as smoothly as movie games do, then it'd be the shortest in history. While real-life basketball is loaded with stoppages in play to address foul calls, movie referees swallow their whistles, only calling a foul if it sets up the main character for some game-winning free throws.
This is politely not mentioning the amount of utter destruction Marvin allows to go unchecked during the Space Jam game, for which his officiating license should be revoked. They shoot each other with guns, Marvin.
RIGHT: You Have To Dribble And Shoot The Ball
At first glance, this may look like I'm being condescending, but trust me, as this list goes on, you'll see that this is a very genuine compliment to these films for getting at least the basics of this sport right.
I don't only mean dribbling and shooting, as this entry is stating that basketball movies all manage to cover the bare minimum of showing basketball on film. The fundamentals are almost always there, even if they look sloppy. Even the Kung-fu basketball epic Fireball, where players can literally kill each other on the court, manages to feature dribbling and shooting. Good job, Fireball.
WRONG: Dogs and Cartoons Don't Play
While one of the most iconic basketball movies of all-time, Air Bud, was correct in its statement that nothing in the rules says a dog can't play basketball, there are plenty of social and fundamental constructs that make whether the rules allow it or not the last concern.
As far as the other most iconic film of all-time, Space Jam, well, cartoons do not exist, and if they did, they commit so many fouls that they would never survive in any organized league.
RIGHT: Getting The Star Player Means Winning Games
Movies like Hoosiers, Semi-Pro, and many others submit the idea that the thing needed to turn around a failing season, is a new star player. While it seems inconsiderate to the rest of the team, and one player can't win them all, they can make a massive difference.
The NBA is built around superstars leading rag-team groups (of fellow superstars) to championships, and anyone that has played pick-up ball at a gym knows the difference that getting that one guy that can dunk on your team makes.
WRONG: Final Seconds Are Much Longer In Movies
It happens in tons of sports movies, but basketball movies are always the biggest culprits. The clock is ticking down, and the game's final moments are fast approaching. The shot shows two, maybe three seconds left.
Then, the film's hero has the ball, and rushes the basket, taking far longer than three seconds to fire off the big final shot, which will assuredly sail through the air in slow motion, going in the basket and winning the game.
RIGHT: Talking While Playing
While it seems like the chatter between rivals while dribbling would be an unrealistic part of these movies, stories from the NBA have proved that there is, in fact, a lot of jawing happening mid-game between players.
While they likely don't have full-on plot revealing conversations mid-dribble, Kevin Garnett didn't trash-talk for a decade for me to come here and say it isn't realistic.
WRONG: Massive Comebacks Take Only A Few Shots
Another common suspension of disbelief is the big comeback that seemingly every major basketball film culminates with. The formula is consistent. The game gets going, and after the opening shot, we have a montage where we see the other team just running it up. Suddenly we see the scoreboard, with one side just smashing the over.
Then, sometimes at the half, sometimes going into the fourth quarter, a big speech happens. Our heroes come back out, and this time the montage is in their favor. We see them hit somewhere between six and ten shots, and suddenly the scoreboard shows that it's almost tied, with the main character only needing one more big shot.
RIGHT: Actual NBA Players
One thing basketball movies do well is they often cast actual basketball players. While films like Teen Wolf or Air Bud arent showing out with real stars, many are, including some of the wackier ones like Space Jam and Like Mike.
Blue Chips, He Got Game, Trainwreck, Uncle Drew, and many more all utilize actual NBA players either in cameos or just to drive the actual basketball scenes. This is something that always makes a basketball movie stand out, but in many cases makes the playing believable and realistic.
WRONG: Physics, What Physics?
Whether it be John Tucker Must Die's front-flip dunk, or Three Ninjas' full-court dunk, or the Catwoman three-point dunk, or... you get the idea. Basketball movies almost guarantee that the main character is going to get up there, and more often than not, it is the most unbelievable part of a movie where a kid can get superpowers from shoes.
Even if it isn't a dunk or wildly high jump, the general way players move feels like they are all hooked to magnets or being controlled by arcade joysticks, ensuring the right person is able to do what needs to be done at the right moment. Just look at any rebound scene, and notice how everyone jumps, but only the main character makes any attempt at the ball.
RIGHT: Coaches
Look, I can't say that every coach has a massive impact on the lives of misguided youths and leads them to win the big game, but what I can tell you, is that they think they do, which qualified them for this spot.
High school coaches are the most applicable here, in part because most coach-led sports movies follow high school teams. High school basketball coaches really do scream, care, push their players, and come up with fiery speeches that lead adolescents to believe they could beat God in a game of basketball. Sure, most of them don't win the chip, but at least they make for accurate film caricatures.
