To say that 1994's live action Street Fighter movie hasn't aged well is something of an understatement. That being said, it's also been pickled with age, and turned into a cult classic beloved by many Street Fighter fans who appreciate the campy, corny tone of the film, and its (shall we say) less-than-faithful adaptations of the video game characters they were based on.
Thanks to some spectacularly bad performances, Street Fighter is loaded with easily ed quotes that remain iconic, to this day. Some are meant to be dramatic, while others are designed to grab the laughs, but most audiences found them funny, either way.
"This war is not about your personal vendetta. It's about mine!"
When Chun-Li stumbles upon the supposed dead corpse of Guile in a morgue, she's surprised to see that he's actually alive, with his con complete. The two finally lay their cards out on the table, with Chun-Li revealing her hatred for Bison, and a desire for revenge.
Guile has her taken away for interfering with military business, but not before uttering this quote as she's being escorted out of the room. While both had their own reasons for wanting Bison, the stakes were much higher for Guile.
"Ohhhh, mon! I shoulda' stayed at Microsoft!"
With things going bad for Bison and his army, Deejay decides to bug out, but not before raiding Bison's trove to get his hands on a locked chest. Believing he has scored the jackpot, Deejay makes preparations to leave, before he notices Ken approaching with the same goal in mind.
Deejay utters this quote, which was far more hilarious in 1994 than it is today, especially given what a cultural powerhouse Microsoft has become. Many forget that when Street Fighter hit theaters, Windows 95 was still eight months from release.
"I was hoping to face Guile personally on the battlefield. One gentleman warrior to another, in respectful combat. Then, I would snap his spine!"
Bison's sense of honor was highly dubious on the best of days, but apparently he fancied himself quite the distinguished gent, so much so that he mourned the "death" of Guile halfway through the film. This quote helped sum up Bison's take on the situation, with his predictable psychopathy taking over at the end.
In reality, it was all a ruse to ingratiate Ken and Ryu into Bison's ranks as spies. Bison would have his desired match with Guile, but it wouldn't turn out like he expected.
"Gimme' your hand, fool!"
When Chun-Li, Honda and Balrog are seized by Bison's forces and taken to his compound, Bison separates her and throws the other two in a jail cell, where they are tortured by a hapless sadist who ends up having the tables turned on him. The two immediately begin plotting their escape, with Balrog surmising that the binding chains might be weak enough to pull from the wall.
When he asks Honda for a hand, Honda replies hilariously with "I've only been in jail two hours. Maybe next month." It's enough for Balrog to scoff with amusement before doubling down with "Gimme' your hand, fool!" The two manage to break the chains and escape.
"This is merely superconductor electromagnetism! Surely you've heard of it? It levitates bullet trains from Tokyo to Osaka. It levitates my desk, where I ride the saddle of the world. And it levitates...ME!"
After dying at Guile's hands, Bison's contingency program kicks in, and begins istering C.P.R. and an adrenaline shot in order to bring him back to life. While Guile is busy coordinating the battle with Cammy via remote connection, Bison rises like a vampire from the grave in creepy fashion.
He knocks Guile back with a blast of lighting from his gauntlets, then mutters this quote. What follows next is an attempt to adapt Bison's psycho power into something resembling a real-world explanation.
"Bison, you're off the air!"
The final act of the film squares Guile off against the villainous Bison for a scene of hand-to-hand combat - classic Street Fighter style. After giving Bison the boot and electrocuting him to death, Guile is shocked to discover that he's still alive and kicking, with a new superpower at his disposal.
Eventually, Guile gains the upper hand a second time, kicking Bison into a television array, causing a massive explosion that puts him down for good.
"His death was designed to ingratiate his spies on you. I guess you didn't SEEEEEEE that, did you?"
As Guile's stealth boat makes its way towards Bison's compound, he becomes suspicious that something is afoot. After busting the ship's cloaking device, Bison is greeted with the image of Guile on screen, revealing himself for the first time since he was presumed dead in a shootout.
While Sagat looks on in shock, Bison fits the pieces of the puzzle together and determines Guile's true plan to ingratiate Ken and Ryu into his ranks. Annoyed by Sagat's gullibility, he covers one eye and utters this quote in order to ridicule him. Needless to say, audiences laughed!
"Quick, change the channel!"
When Chun-Li, Balrog and Honda manage to disguise themselves as an entertainment outfit for Bison and his crew, it gives them enough time to enact an assassination plan by rigging a cache of illegal weapons with deadly explosives. Chun-Li reveals their plan to Bison via a live TV broadcast, with the bad guys looking on in horror.
As a truck full of rigged weapons comes barreling towards Bison's compound, Zangief suddenly has a light-bulb moment (dim as it is), and tells them simply to "change the channel," which earns him more than a few annoyed stares, and a riotous audience reaction brimming with laughter!
"I'm not going home! I'm going to get on my boat, and I'm going up-river, and I'm going to kick...that son-of-a-b**** Bison's ass so HARD...that the next Bison wannabe'...is gonna' feel it!"
This quote ranks both simultaneously as the best, and absolute worst of the film, by far. During a scene where Guile and his troops are given orders to stand down, he delivers a ionate speech that rallies them to his cause. It's a rare moment in the film which touches upon the heroics of an army unit that has been fighting actively to remove an evil dictator.
It's corny and just plain awful, but that's what Street Fighter was all about!
"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day in your life, but for me? It was Tuesday."
This one continues to get laughs, twenty-six years later. After capturing Chun Li, Bison sets up a "private interview" in his personal quarters, where he prepares for what should be a night of wily, seductive cat n' mouse games. As he gets more comfortable, Chun-Li recounts a story about Bison attacking her village and murdering her father, which triggered her desire for vengeance.
Bison waits for the entire delivery, before arrogantly proclaiming "I don't any of it," which stuns Chun-Li. Bison then explains (in his own demented mind) the events of that day, and trolls Chun-Li mercilessly with the most unexpected of answers!
