Tony Stark always has the perfect quippy one-liner for any situation, and he gives everybody he meets a nickname inspired by popular culture. This made him one of the funniest characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with an infinite amount of quotable lines. However, he also has one of the most emotionally charged arcs in the franchise.
From his strained relationship with his late father to his adorable interactions with his five-year-old daughter, Tony has broken our hearts as many times as he’s tickled our ribs. So, here are Tony Stark’s 5 funniest (and 5 most heartbreaking) quotes in the MCU.
Funniest: “Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.”
In The Avengers, when Tony Stark and Steve Rogers meet for the first time, they’re instantly confrontational. Tony thinks that Steve is disingenuous because he got all of his powers from a scientific formula, while Steve thinks that Tony is a coward hiding in a suit of armor.
Steve says, “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” With pitch-perfect delivery from Robert Downey, Jr., Tony quips, “Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” Fair enough, right?
Most Heartbreaking: “I Love You 3,000.”
When Morgan Stark first tells her father, “I love you 3,000,” it’s a really sweet moment (and a funny one, since it doesn’t make sense, but we know what she means anyway). When, at the end of Avengers: Endgame, Tony repeats it back to her, it is heartbreaking.
It appears in a holographic message that Tony recorded to be played in the event of his death. Morgan is just five years old when her dad dies, so it’s a lot for her to handle.
Funniest: “Which Happens. Dads Leave. No Need To Be A P**** About It.”
Long before he had a surrogate son in the form of Peter Parker, Tony Stark developed a fatherly bond with Harley Keener in Iron Man 3. When Harley tells him, “Dad went to 7-Eleven to get scratchers – I guess he won, ‘cause that was six years ago,” Tony quips back, “Which happens. Dads leave. No need to be a p*ssy about it.”
According to writer-director Shane Black, this line was improvised by Robert Downey, Jr. while they were shooting.
Most Heartbreaking: “Thank You For Everything...You’ve Done For This Country.”
The “Time Heist” in Avengers: Endgame provided screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely with opportunities to give a couple of characters closure on their relationships with deceased characters. In Thor’s case, this was his relationship with his mother, Frigga. In Tony Stark’s case, it was his relationship with his father, Howard, who he accidentally bumped into at a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility in 1970.
After a lengthy conversation in which Tony masquerades as an intern and gets some roundabout advice on fatherhood, before parting ways with his dad for the last time, Tony gives him a hug and says, “Thank you, for everything.” Howard is confused because he thinks this is some guy he’s just met, so Tony plays it off: “...you’ve done for this country.”
Funniest: “Well, Performance Issues, It’s Not Uncommon. One Out Of Five...”
Right before the final battle in the first Avengers movie, Tony Stark confronts Loki at the top of Stark Tower. The trickster god is wielding the Scepter, which contains the Mind Stone that he’s been using to control the minds of Clint Barton and Dr. Erik Selvig, and he tries to add Tony to that list.
However, since Tony has a miniature arc reactor in his chest, the Scepter has no effect on him. Tony cracks, “Well, performance issues, it’s not uncommon. One out of five...”
Most Heartbreaking: “You’re All Right.”
There were a lot of sad deaths at the end of Peter Parker turning to dust in Tony Stark’s arms. Thanks to his spidey-sense, Peter could see his death coming earlier than everyone else. He rushes up to Tony and grabs onto him, saying, “I don’t feel so good, Mr. Stark.”
When Tony tells Peter, “You’re all right,” he knows he’s not going to be all right; he just wants to comfort him in his final moments. Peter is so sweet and selfless that his last words to Tony are: “I’m sorry, Tony. I’m sorry.”
Funniest: “That Man Has No Regard For Lawn Maintenance.”
Whenever Thor summons the Bifrost to take him back to Asgard, it leaves a large circular pattern on the ground. He’s left these patterns all over Earth, and at the end of Avengers: Age of Ultron, he leaves one on the lawn outside the New Avengers Facility.
Tony cracks, “That man has no regard for lawn maintenance.” This moment establishes a sweet friendship between Tony and Steve, right before Captain America: Civil War tore them apart irreparably.
Most Heartbreaking: “So Was I.”
At the end of Captain America: Civil War, Tony finds out that Bucky Barnes killed his parents. He was under the influence of Hydra at the time, but it’s still very upsetting. So, Tony sets out to avenge his mom and dad, and Steve Rogers has to make a choice.
Steve can protect his childhood best friend or allow his new comrade to kill him. After a quick deliberation, Captain America chooses the former, and tells Tony, “He’s my friend.” Tony heartbreakingly replies, “So was I,” before continuing their brutal skirmish.
Funniest: “Dude, You’re Embarrassing Me In Front Of The Wizards.”
When Bruce Banner arrives at the Sanctum Sanctorum in Avengers: Infinity War, he desperately warns Doctor Strange and Wong about the coming of Thanos and they quickly recruit Tony Stark from across New York.
As Ebony Maw arrives on Earth to collect the Time Stone, the heroes step outside to fight him. Bruce tries to turn into the Hulk, but he struggles. As he tries and fails to make the transformation, Tony tells him, “Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.”
Most Heartbreaking: “I...Am...Iron Man.”
Tony Stark’s character arc came full circle at the end of Avengers: Endgame. When he became Iron Man, he wanted to make the world a better place, and when he went through a wormhole to end the Battle of New York, he became paranoid about an extraterrestrial threat that he wouldn’t be able to defeat. In Infinity War, that threat came in the form of Thanos and he couldn’t defeat it.
In Endgame, five years after the events of Infinity War, Tony invents a time machine, saves everybody that Thanos killed, and brings the Mad Titan back for a rematch. This time, he wins, repeating his words from the final moments of Iron Man as he accepts his own sacrifice.
