Summary

• Lorelai's decision to date Rory's teacher and treat her daughter like a best friend displays her immaturity caused by becoming a parent as a teenager.
• Emily's constant manipulation of Lorelai showcases a toxic parent-child dynamic that prevents closeness.
• Liz and Christopher are both absentee parents who don't seem to take their parental responsibilities seriously.

The beloved 2000s show Gilmore Girls focuses on familial relationships across different generations, but some of the parenting decisions in the series leave a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve been a Gilmore Girls fan since my sister and I watched it together while it was on the air. Since it landed on Netflix in 2014, I’ve streamed it more times than I can count. I watch it when I’m happy, sad, mad, hopeless, or needing comfort. It’s gotten to the point that I know the tiniest details and can quote almost every episode of the show.

However, my undying love for the series doesn’t mean it’s exempt from scrutiny. Many aspects of the show haven’t aged well, leading to some Gilmore Girls storylines I wish I could forget. Additionally, watching the show now, I have different opinions on many parenting decisions than I did the first time I watched the show, with some sticking out as irresponsible, unhealthy, and detestable.

12 Lorelai Dates Her Daughter’s Teacher

Dating Rory's Teacher Was Wildly Inappropriate For Both Parties

From the start of Gilmore Girl, Lorelai makes some questionable decisions, such as dating Rory’s teacher, Max Medina. I think he’s culpable, a bit creepy in retrospect, and completely unprofessional on multiple occasions. However, the blame for the situation ultimately falls on Lorelai because she’s the parent. Lorelai outwardly acknowledges how badly she and Max could impact Rory but chooses to do it anyway.

On top of that, she has very little discretion or boundaries. She uses her position as Max’s girlfriend to give Rory’s paper an A. Even if it’s a joke, that’s inappropriate. Then, she kisses him on parents' day in the middle of a classroom. I love Lorelai, and I understand that her emotional maturity isn’t at a level typical of a parent because she gave birth so young. However, she drops the ball when handling the Max situation.

11 Emily Manipulates Lorelai Constantly

Emily Gilmore Relies On Control In Her Relationship With Her Daughter

Emily is the character that I love to hate. She’s quippy and has perfect comedic timing, but she’s also a judgmental and unrelenting parent who manipulates Lorelai every chance she gets. This is established in the first episode when she demands dinners with Lorelai and Rory in exchange for helping her daughter. This one instance could be written off if it were the only time, but her poor behavior continues over all eight seasons.

Emily sets Lorelai up on a date without her knowledge, keeps Rory all night to spite Lorelai, and tries to get Lorelai and Christopher together even though her daughter is happily in a relationship – to name a few examples. Even in the revival, Emily manipulates Lorelai by tricking her into therapy. However, the moment she’s challenged, she abandons her daughter. Ultimately, Emily’s manipulation of Lorelai makes her daughter’s hostile behavior much more justifiable.

10 Luke Makes Promises To April Without Talking To Anna First

Luke Made Promises He Couldn't Necessarily Keep

Of all the parents in Gilmore Girls, Luke is the one who is the most consistent and caring, even towards Jess and Rory – two kids who aren’t even technically his. However, one moment where I simultaneously empathize with him and question his judgment is when he promises April that she will come back for spring break and the summer.

This is a challenging situation because April is emotionally distraught about moving across the country to a place she doesn’t know, surrounded by people she doesn’t know. I can understand his desire to provide her with some small amount of comfort and consistency; however, he should have talked to Anna before making any promises to April. His fight to have April is entirely justified. Direct communication and working as a team whenever possible is essential for co-parenting, though

9 Liz Abandons Jess When Things Get Hard

Liz Sends Jess Off To Luke Without A Second Thought

One parenting decision that infuriates me every time I watch Gilmore Girls is Liz’s decision to abandon Jess when things get challenging rather than learning to be a better parent. She might have felt that Luke could do a better job raising Jess, but she could have moved to Stars Hollow to be with him. She could have written him letters, called him on the phone, and visited him.

There were so many options that didn’t involve dropping him off with a family member he doesn’t know too well without any resources or . Moreover, she declines to let Jess come home for Christmas – not for an extended period of time, but for a few weeks at most. Jess going to Stars Hallow is ultimately the best thing for him in the long run, but that doesn’t excuse Liz’s behavior.

8 Anna Won’t Let April Meet Lorelai

Anna's Protectiveness Seems Overblown Under The Circumstances

Unlike many Gilmore Girls fans, I love April Nardini and find her incredibly relatable. Unfortunately, everyone else in the situation frustrates me, even though I love Luke and Lorelai. Luke doesn’t make an effort to include his fiancée in his child’s life, despite his wanting to have a long-term relationship with both April and Lorelai. Lorelai gets overzealous by trying to build a relationship with April during her birthday party without ever speaking to Anna.

However, the most frustrating is Anna refusing to let Lorelai meet and have a relationship with April. I empathize with her desire to protect April so that her daughter doesn’t lose someone important. However, Luke and Lorelai already have a wedding date set, for goodness’ sake. Plus, her daughter is 12 years old, so the over-protectiveness about her meeting a new adult, in this specific case, seems a little overblown.

7 Christopher Barely Acts Like A Dad To Rory

Christopher Doesn't Take His Role As A Father Seriously

Christopher is an absentee dad to Rory, whose parenting decisions elicit ire. He looks at Rory more like a prop to parade around as if he’s a capable father. He barely shows up when she needs it. He doesn’t attend her high school graduation at the end of season 3 or her goodbye party in the Gilmore Girls finale. There’s zero indication that he tries to Lorelai financially until he inherits his grandfather’s money.

The one time she asks him to give her and Lorelai space, he completely ignores this request. Rory’s dad only starts showing up more when he has Gigi, and that’s only because he needs help from Lorelai and Rory. Christopher just got worse and worse throughout Gilmore Girls, becoming less reliable and more pushy. Based on his behavior, he’s the definition of a deadbeat dad.

6 Emily Rarely Appreciates Lorelai's Successes

Emily Gilmore Is Especially Critical Of Lorelai

Another serious parenting flaw of Emily Gilmore is her lack of pride in Lorelai’s accomplishments. She went into parenting with rigid ideas about her daughter’s behavior and personality, a sadly common problem. Lorelai never quite seemed to fit the mold set by her parents, rebelling against their strict rules and expectations. Her mom sees all of her accomplishments as not good enough, which is painfully relatable, leading Emily to insult Lorelai repeatedly in Gilmore Girls.

I want to cry every time she dismisses Lorelai’s life as not good enough. She doesn’t seem to respect that Lorelai works hard, buys a house, and raises a well-mannered child. She also disregards Lorelai’s happy relationship. The two significant exceptions with Emily are her celebrating Lorelai’s graduation and her acknowledging the phone conversation about the inn. However, she largely fails to recognize that Lorelai is an autonomous human who doesn’t owe her mother undying loyalty and agreement.

5 Richard Blames Lorelai For Ruining Her Life By Getting Pregnant

While I generally love Richard Gilmore, there are some moments I cannot forgive. After Straub and Francine start degrading Lorelai, he defends her. However, his attitude changes when she goes into his office to offer him food and thank him for what he said. He goes on a tirade against Lorelai, claiming she put her parents through hell and caused them public humiliation. He also implies that she caused the family disgrace by not marrying Christopher.

Then, he blames Lorelai for running away with Rory from him and Emily, disregarding that they don’t own Lorelai or Rory. They aren’t owed time with either of the two. Their relationship with Rory is something Lorelai graciously allows them to have despite the way they treat Lorelai. Ultimately, this is one of the worst things Richard ever did in Gilmore Girls. He takes Lorelai’s gratitude and humility and throws it back in her face instead of having a bonding moment.

Edward Hermann did not appear in the revival because he sadly ed away on December 31, 2014 at the age of 71 from brain cancer.

4 Christopher Doesn’t Set Boundaries With Gigi

While he was an absentee parent to Rory, Christopher had no choice but to take care of Gigi because Sherry abandoned her (another moment that nearly landed on the list of times I judged the parenting decisions in Gilmore Girls). Unfortunately, because he wasn’t around for Rory, he doesn’t know how to care for a child.

He also feels like he has to make up for Sherry being gone, which I completely empathize with. I’ve seen how hard it is to be a single parent, though I haven’t experienced it firsthand. The parenting choice in this situation that I question is him letting her get away with anything she wants. She has no sense of boundaries and doesn’t respond to the word “no” – skills that are important to implement early. Luckily, he eventually rectifies the issue by enforcing rules.

3 Lorelai Doesn’t Speak To Rory After She Quits Yale

I usually have different expectations of Lorelai when it comes to parenting because she became a mom as a teenager, making her less mature than other parents in the series. However, this is precisely why I have a hard time understanding Lorelai giving Rory the silent treatment after she gets arrested and quits Yale – one of the most controversial Gilmore Girls storylines. She knows what it’s like to be ostracized by her parents for making a decision that some would consider a mistake. Rory is in a similar position.

The youngest Gilmore is going through one of the most challenging times in her young adult life right before Lorelai cuts her off. Everyone thinks she’s making the wrong choice. I understand if Lorelai doesn’t condone Rory’s choice based on the reason. However, it seems cruel for Lorelai to completely cut off Rory when she knows the feeling of isolation and estrangement.