As privileged and lucky as Lorelai Gilmore was growing up, she looks back on her childhood with contempt in Gilmore Girls. Her parents were overbearing and judged her every decision, which forced her to move out as a teenage single mother. Because of her youth, Lorelai vowed to be the complete opposite of her parents and live by her own rules.
The problem is that Lorelai is so consumed with being everything that her parents aren't that it ends up ruining her. She had to grow up at a young age, which forces her to act immaturely during tough times. Instead of blaming her mother, Lorelai should look within during life's problems.
She Hates Her Relationship With Her Mother (But Does Nothing To Help It)
Lorelai has a toxic relationship with her parents. She is nothing like the daughter Emily and Richard wanted, which creates a ton of resentment on both sides. But as much as Lorelai wants a better relationship with her parents, she never goes about it the right way.
Any time Richard or Emily do something nice for the Gilmore girls with no strings attached, Lorelai doesn't trust them and a row breaks out. She plays the victim in a lot of ways, which is when she runs back to Stars Hollow where she's encouraged and hugged by her neighbors. The problem is, Lorelai never gives her parents credit or repairs their relationship with inclusion and honesty. There's only animosity.
She Wants A Good Guy (And Sabotages Every Relationship)
Lorelai has always been a little iffy about marriage. Before falling in love with Luke, she never met someone that made her want to settle down and get comfortable. When Christopher first proposed marriage in the earlier seasons, Lorelai panicked and claimed she wasn't ready to come home to the same person night after night. Things changed slightly when she met Max.
He was one man who didn't try to change Lorelai and was a great influence on Rory. But as usual, Lorelai couldn't allow herself to be happy. She called off the wedding, broke both Max and Rory's hearts, and left town, only to do the same thing when she and Luke broke up. She sabotaged that relationship by sleeping with Christopher.
She Wants Christopher To Be A Better Father (But Judges Him For Trying)
It's not known why Christopher wasn't a part of Lorelai and Rory's lives when Rory was growing up. Lorelai declined getting married to Christopher and he claimed that her raising Rory by herself was written in the stars. He could never get in between the two of them. This only provoked Lorelai to rip on him for not being a present dad.
But when Christopher did come around and wanted to be with Rory, Lorelai hated it. He once called to ask if Rory was able to spend the weekend with him and his girlfriend, Sherry. Instead of loving his initiative, Lorelai got jealous and never told Rory that he called. So, does she enjoy complaining or does she actually want him to be around?
She Gets Mad At Everyone For Being Dishonest To Her (But She's The Ultimate Liar)
Lorelai loathes when she's kept in the dark. She hates when her parents pull something over her head, detests when Rory sneaks around behind her back, and feels disrespected when her partners aren't always honest with her.
What's wild about Lorelai's disapproval of lying and hidden agendas is that she's the ultimate liar! One great example is when she refused to tell Luke when she spoke to or hung out with Christopher. It made Luke feel like she was sneaking around behind his back. Lorelai fears what others will think, so she keeps things to herself, but that's never a winning strategy in the end.
She Wants Rory To Make Smart Decisions With Men (But Has An Awful Track Record Herself)
As a single mother, Lorelai is understandably protective of Rory — especially when it comes to men. She hated Dean at first but once she realized he was just as protective of Rory as she was, she let him into their tribe. Lorelai also never trusted Jess or Logan. No one was good enough for Rory.
Sadly, what Lorelai doesn't realize is that Rory hasn't had the best example of a healthy relationship. The only thing Rory knows is getting serious with someone and sneaking around behind their backs when things get too intense. That's exactly what Lorelai did for years and she has no one to blame but herself.
She Wants Rory To Have A Good Relationship With Her Parents (But Becomes Upset When They Like Her Better)
Just because Lorelai didn't have a good relationship with her parents doesn't mean that Rory shouldn't, right? That's what Lorelai wants everyone to believe but when it comes down to it, Lorelai hates that Rory is close to Richard and Emily.
Rory is the daughter that Richard and Emily always wanted. Whenever she does something worth praising, a bit of jealousy takes over for Lorelai and it creates tension on both sides.
She Wants Rory To Spread Her Wings (But Coddles Her)
Because Lorelai had Rory so young, she wanted to raise Rory to be a strong, independent woman who didn't make the same mistakes she did. However, her love for her daughter became too much and Rory couldn't spread her wings and soar.
On Rory's first night away at college, she called her mom in tears. She was mad that her mom made things too comfortable for her and now she doesn't know how to live without her. Instead of listening to Rory's words and letting her figure this out herself, Lorelai continues to coddle her and spends the night with her in her dorm.
She Isn't In Love With Christopher (But Marries Him Anyway)
Christopher is the father of Lorelai's daughter and the only man who will ever truly understand her family and her upbringing. Based on their history, Lorelai assumed she loved Christopher and wanted to be with him.
However, that wasn't the case. She wasn't ready to marry Christopher but went through with it anyway. To make matters worse, she didn't even tell Rory about it until after the fact, which was a harsh blow to their relationship.
She Complains About Money (But Refuses To Expand)
Even though Lorelai comes from money, she didn't have the same wealth in her adult life. She didn't have enough money for Chilton, for Rory's tuition for Yale, to start her own business, or to fix the termite problem in her home. As always, her parents (and Luke) are the ones who help her out on rough times.
And yet, when she has the chance to expand the Dragonfly and have a role that allowed her to travel, she turned it down. Having a big-time job that took her outside of Stars Hollow was unacceptable. And yet, it was her only real chance at success.
She Hates How Controlling Her Parents Are (But Is A Secret Control Freak)
One of the reasons why Lorelai can't stand her parents is because of how controlling they are. Emily once said that her job as a mother is to be the eyes and ears of her daughter. Those words hit home for Lorelai and she realized she was being too hard on Rory when she was torn between Dean and Jess.
However, Lorelai is the ultimate selfish, control freak. When things don't go her way, she overreacts and all hell breaks loose.