The central relationship of Gilmore Girls has always been the one between Lorelai Gilmore and her clever daughter/best friend Rory. However, it was obvious right from the start that the owner of the diner where they eat is also going to play an important role in Lorelai's plot. Luke Danes is grumpy and cynical yet acts like a saint when it comes to his favorite customers. His and Lorelai's friendship turned romance is a ridiculously enjoyable slow burn.
Lorelai is vibrant and charismatic, but she also struggles with commitment issues and emotion regulation. Her relationship with her parents is a mess, which unfortunately also seeps into her romances. While the fans generally welcomed the destined couple ending up together, there are many mistakes Lorelai has made in her relationship with Luke.
Updated on June 2nd, 2021, by Lynn Gibbs: In March of 2021, Lauren Graham told EW Live that clause in all of her contracts in case there is ever a sequel to the Gilmore Girls revival. Fans went wild at the thought of seeing Lorelai and Luke as a married couple instead of being in a standstill like they were for the first three episodes of A Year in the Life. The couple has so much history that fans are itching to see more of them. Until then, viewers have no choice but to rewatch the original show and relive the ups and downs of Lorelai and Luke's rollercoaster relationship.
Updated on November 5, 2021, by Lynn Gibbs: When new Gilmore Girls fans do their first watch of the series, one of the first questions they have is "Do Luke and Lorelai end up together?" Their connection was strong at the start since their friendship was the pillar of their future romantic relationship. But as is the case for most fictional characters, their flaws get in the way and both characters made a few mistakes in their relationship — Lorelai in particular. Eventually, Luke and Lorelai figured themselves out, but that didn't mean their relationship still wasn't dramatic.
Lorelai Didn't Do Enough To Save Luke From Golfing With Richard
Once Emily met Luke at the start of his and Lorelai's relationship, Richard felt like he too needed to get to know his daughter's new beau. He invited Luke to go golfing, which Lorelai didn't want from the start, but she allowed it to happen.
Lorelai messed up because she didn't warn Luke about what country club life with her dad was really like. Not only was Luke underdressed and misinformed, but he also embarrassed himself in front of Richard and his friends. By the end of the day, Luke agreed to a business decision that he wasn't interested in. And while he's an adult who can handle himself, Lorelai could have done more to either stop the game from happening or prepare Luke. It's not the best episode for Luke and Lorelai fans.
Lorelai Aired Their Dirty Laundry Out At Lane's Wedding
When April came into Luke's life, his relationship with Lorelai hit a wall. He didn't know how to be a new dad and a fiancé at the same time. He needed time to figure it out.
Sadly, instead of voicing her frustrations and fears to Luke, Lorelai bottled them inside and unleashed them at the worst place possible: Lane and Zack's wedding. With Luke away, Lorelai told all of Stars Hollow that she wasn't the marrying type. This led everyone to wonder: Do Lorelai and Luke get married? Knowing how gossipy Stars Hollow was, this was a risky move on her end.
Luke Lost His Trust In Lorelai More Than Once
Before another epic Friday Night Dinner, Lorelai somehow convinced Luke to update his diner and give it a fresh coat of paint. At this point, fans were dying to know if Luke and Lorelai get together. However, knowing how attached to the diner Luke was and how much he hated change, it was a big deal that he agreed to redecorate it with Lorelai's help. Some of his best memories were at Luke's Diner and it was hard to alter it.
Lorelai promised she would be there after hours to help Luke paint but instead, she got caught up with Christopher. Luke played it off when Lorelai showed up late, but that kind of behavior doesn't fly with Luke because he doesn't trust people easily. He lost his trust in Lorelai again when he caught her deleting a voicemail from Christopher as soon as he walked into the room. Honesty was not Lorelai's strong suit.
Lorelai Acted Like She Knew How To Be The Better Parent To April
Deep down, Lorelai thought she was being helpful by giving Luke some parenting advice, but what she was really doing was telling him what to do. Luke and Lorelai never had kids together, so Lorelai had no idea what kind of parent Luke was aiming to be.
In one scene, he was looking for the perfect birthday gift for April and pointed to something in the window. Lorelai acted like his idea was stupid and reiterated that she had a daughter and knew what kids liked. Annoyed, Luke snapped at her and reminded her that April was his daughter and that he knew what she liked. Plus, Luke wasn't comfortable with Lorelai being involved in April's life just yet. Luke turned out to be a great dad, but this wasn't his finest moment.
Luke Always Liked Lorelai, But She Played Dumb
Lorelai described Luke as "the guy who pours her coffee," yet she knew all along that he was way more than that. When they first met, Lorelai gave Luke a horoscope reading as a joke and he kept it intact for years. Luke showed her unwavering and made himself available anytime she needed it, but she rarely thought of reciprocating such gestures.
Deep down, Lorelai knew how Luke felt, and her playing dumb set up an unhealthy dynamic from the start and was a bad Gilmore Girls love lesson. The resentments started building right there and then, even if they didn't realize it.
Lorelai Bringing Luke To Her Parents' House
Luke and Lorelai's relationship becomes serious by the end of season 4. In "You Jump, I Jump, Jack," Lorelai brought Luke to her parents' house because her mother absolutely insisted on meeting her new beau. The meeting was obviously awful. Emily never gave Luke a chance to begin with and he only embarrassed himself in the process. It was one of the worst Friday Night Dinners.
Ultimately, Emily got just what she wanted: she managed to create a huge dent in Luke's and Lorelai's relationship. She truly overstepped her bounds but got away with it yet again. However, if Lorelai didn't allow Luke to go over that early in their relationship, things might have gone smoother.
Lorelai Walking Downstairs After Their First Night Together
The morning after her first sleepover at Luke's, Lorelai casually walks down the stairs to get herself some coffee, wearing only Luke's shirt. She is his most loyal customer, yet didn't consider the opening hours before walking downstairs...
To her surprise, the diner is open for business and the gossip spread incredibly fast. As if starting a serious relationship with a best friend while both are struggling with commitment issues isn't difficult enough as it is, Lorelai wasted a chance for them to take things at their own pace due to her "forgetting" about being in Luke's Diner.
Lorelai Asked Luke To Marry Her Without Thinking It Through
It's not that marrying Luke was a bad idea per se, it's just the timing and the reasoning behind it made little sense. There are many things that don't make sense about Luke and Lorelai, but this one probably takes the cake. Neither seems like the marrying type. Lorelai should have thought long and hard before popping the question, but she blurted it out on the spur of the moment instead.
She was mostly touched by Luke's efforts to be a better man for her — he listened to self-help audiobooks, for example — and the dedication he felt towards her estranged daughter. Lorelai asked him to marry her so that she could feel happy again after a fight with Rory; it wasn't because she actually wanted to get married.
And Their Wedding Was All About Lorelai
It took Luke and Lorelai years to officially get married in the revival. But in the original series when they were first engaged, the wedding-planning process was just as slow. It took a little push from Sookie to get Lorelai in the wedding planning mode, and once she did, it was basically done in a day.
After a long day of wedding planning with Sookie, Lorelai went to Luke's Diner at the end of the night to tell Luke that their wedding was already planned, paid for, and on June 10th. The only problem with this is that Lorelai never once consulted Luke. She never even asked him if that date was okay with him. It was selfish and one-sided.
Lorelai Never Addressed Her Commitment Issues
Throughout the seasons, both Gilmore girls had several boyfriends, but none seem to stick for long. Lorelai obviously has commitment issues. She was engaged to Rory's teacher Max and she canceled at the last moment. She didn't put too much thought into her actions and those who fail to learn from their mistakes are bound to repeat them.
That's exactly what happened when Lorelai started dating Luke: she went along, but a part of her was always postponing settling for good. She asked him to marry her, yet kept pushing back the wedding and beating around the bush. If only she worked on herself, the relationship would be far less tumultuous.
