The hit comedy-drama moments in the show which would never fly today. From body-shaming to being an exclusively white show and stereotyping of LGBTQ+ characters, the series has taken flak as times have changed over the years.
Yet, the lead protagonists were young men and women with healthy sex lives and there were multiple times that the show advocated sex-positivity and featured characters taking charge of their sex lives. In Friends, sex was a constant underlying theme, but not always handled with said positivity.
Not: Monica & Chandler's Secret
The entire hush-hush surrounding Monica and Chandler 'doing it' actually made very little sense. It might be fun watching the final reveal come about with the rest of the gang finding out the truth about their relationship one by one.
But in the broader perspective, why the couple would want to hide their relationship in the first place and why any of the others would have a problem with two consenting adults choosing to be with each other, remains a question. They might have had to be a tad gentle before breaking the news to Ross but as far as Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey were concerned, keeping them in the dark seemed meaningless.
Sex-Positive: Phoebe & Mike
Phoebe was a free spirit and had overcome a lot of obstacles in her life. Her friends were her pillars of , but in time, she started a lovely romance with Mike Hannigan. Their meeting happened quite by accident - Mike appeared on a date with Phoebe only because Joey had completely forgotten that he was supposed to set her up with a friend of his, and had to find a random stranger to help him.
However, Phoebe and Mike's relationship was positive and sexy. They stood up for each other; Mike didn't care that he came from a different social status, and found Phoebe's little eccentricities adorable. Having got past all her other rather messy relationships, the great Phoebe Buffay finally settled down into a healthy sex life with the cute Mike Hannigan. Their relationship showed that class-differences do not exist when it comes to matters of the heart.
Not: Monica's Giant Boobs
Monica worked for a while in a restaurant called Moondance Diner where she had to wear giant fake breasts, a source of tremendous excitement for Joey, a wig, and roller skates.
Monica's fake breasts were used as a comic tool, in effect being offensive to any individual whose breasts are of ample size. The gross trivialization of plus-size breasts was far from positive.
Sex-Positive: Mr. & Mrs. Geller
Jack and Judy Geller were ing characters that appeared now and then, usually to some judgment on their children's lives. Judy's lack of satisfaction at anything and everything Monica did as opposed to her profusion of pride in Ross, was a constant source of irritation to Monica.
Yet, Jack and Judy's sex life had a positive spin to it. The couple was even shown getting handsy in the restroom at a party making Monica, who was hiding out in the bathtub, cringe. But the idea that they had a healthy sex life meant that the show advocated sexual experience in men and women past their so-called 'prime', which was extremely positive.
Not: Every Time A Character Was Slut-Shamed
Every time a character was slut-shamed in Friends was a time the show put itself out there as sex-negative. It was Chandler's mother, and Nora, who was slut-shamed for having a vibrant sex-life, or Kathy, the actress whom Chandler dated and baselessly accused of sleeping with another actor.
Erin, who treated Joey the same way he had treated women for years, still got the tag 'tramp' from Rachel. Casual slut-shaming and ridiculing, especially of women, was common on this hit sitcom, and often used for laughs.
Sex-Positive: Rachel's Decision To Be A Single Mom
Rachel found out that she was pregnant with Ross' baby in the season 7 finale, as Monica and Chandler were getting married. Her decision to keep the baby and take care of the child on her own was a highly positive perspective towards sex outside marriage.
Rachel's approach encouraged unmarried working women to take charge of their lives. Even later, after she had had the baby, Rachel was shown to be dating and getting ready for a healthy sex life. This brought sex out of its orthodox air-tight categories and gave it a very healthy spin.
Not: The Constant Queerphobia & Transphobia
The show has been criticized over the years for normalizing queerphobia and transphobia. Whether it was Chandler being teased for being effeminate at times, or Joey being called out for wanting to carry a bag that looked more like a woman's purse, or Ross trying to teach his son to play with a G.I. Joe toy instead of a Barbie doll, the show made quite a royal mess when it came to handling such a sensitive topic. Yes, Friends did have an iconic moment when Ross' ex, Carol, got married to her fiancé, Susan, but that was nullified by the show's general callousness towards LGBTQ+ characters.
Not only was the queerphobia a running gag, but the series also played transgender identity for laughs. Chandler's father was a transwoman who had her own all-gay burlesque show in Las Vegas and was touted to be an embarrassment to her son. So, from the main leads aggressively trying to prove their straight identity to LGBTQ+ characters being used as a trope, queerphobia, transphobia, and stereotyping were staples in this beloved comedy-drama.
Sex-Positive: Phoebe Standing Up To Sexual Harassment
Phoebe was possibly the most eccentric of the friends, which also made her the most adorable. But she was also the most principled and stood up against inappropriate behavior more than once.
When the Italian neighbor Paolo made a at Phoebe, she did the right thing by informing Rachel, who was dating him at the time. Later too, Phoebe was disgusted and onished her half-brother Frank Jr. for thinking that he could take advantage of the masseuses at her massage parlor.
Not: Emma's 'Manny'
Yet another time that Ross went too far in his prejudices was when he had a problem with Emma's male nanny, Sandy, simply because he was male. He found it hard to accept a man in the role of a nanny which according to him was strictly a woman's profession.
Ross went so far as to want to sack Sandy because he was uncomfortable with the latter's gender and kept on making highly inappropriate comments about his sexual orientation, which, again, was played for laughs.
Sex-Positive: Monica Describing The Erogenous Zones
One of the most iconic Monica Geller moments was her describing the seven erogenous zones in a woman to give Chandler a better idea of what a woman likes. Monica sketched out what was presumably the female anatomy and started explaining the zones to Chandler, with Rachel ever ready by her side with her inputs.
Monica began to get excited even as she explained the female erogenous zones and gradually reached a peak becoming practically orgasmic. Chandler was left gawking and Rachel seemed a tad turned on as well. While the scene was supposed to be hilarious, it did at least do its bit by acknowledging and allowing a popular discourse on women's sexuality.