Summary

• Peter Griffin's idiocy drives the humor of Family Guy, making his quotes comedy gold.
• Family Guy teases its rival, The Simpsons, through social commentaries in witty Peter quotes.
• Peter's dimwitted schemes and absurd quotes make him the lovable, foolish linchpin of the show.

Among the colorful cast of the hit cartoon sitcom Family Guy, the Peter Griffin quotes prove there's probably no more amusing character in the series. After all, it's this goofy, dimwitted man from which the show's name is derived. Father, husband, and often the driver for setting up sporadic gags, Peter has become the predominant icon of the show. Given his randomness and painfully naive, childish ways, he's naturally the linchpin for much of the humor, and by extension, many of the show's funniest quotes.

Between his lack of self-awareness, casual cruelty, immense stupidity, and strong New England accent, nearly everything Peter says is comedy gold. It's hard to believe that over two decades have ed since Family Guy first aired. Such longevity is exceedingly rare in a television series. The classic lines of one of the characters who significantly contributed to the show's popularity: the lovable Griffin patriarch, Peter, is a good reason why fans still watch the animated comedy series to this day.

20 "I Have An Idea So Smart That My Head Would Explode If I Even Began To Know What I Was Talking About."

Season 2, Episode 5 - "Love Thy Trophy"

Family Guy is predicated on a central concept: Peter Griffin’s buffoonery. Usually, that involves a quickly thought-out and hastily executed plan that can only work with a copious amount of cartoon logic, resulting in some of the best Peter Griffin quotes. Examples like this abound, from his plan to stop kids from licking toads to get high by infiltrating James Woods High School to claiming his house as a sovereign state to beating up a man-sized chicken.

Peter’s hair-brained schemes seem to follow an internal logic that only makes sense to him, as this quote makes clear. The fact that his plans sometimes work is an even bigger shock, but as Peter its, he has no idea where these ideas come from and just knows that they make sense in some part of his frazzled brain. Of course, it also helps that he has family and friends who can pull him out of danger when his schemes threaten to destroy him.

19 "Gosh, It's Not Like The Internet To Go Crazy About Something Small And Stupid."

Season 13, Episode 1 - "The Simpsons Guy"

Family Guy often manages to infuse its episodes with social commentary, either slyly or directly. When Peter’s one- comic stirs controversy on the internet during their crossover with The Simpsons, Peter observes that “it’s not like the internet to go crazy about something small and stupid.” Clearly, the comment was an indirect way of lampooning internet trolls who’ve nitpicked elements of both iconic shows. What is even funnier is that Peter thinks this is true and isn't being sarcastic at all.

Moreover, it was a general statement about people using the internet to complain about the minutiae of daily life and their propensity to overdramatize issues disproportionately. There have been so many people who use social media to try to get things canceled, and Family Guy has done enough offensive storylines to warrant it in many cases. This is a case of the show taking a preemptive strike at the dangers of social media anger.

18 "I'm Not Going To Tell You Where But I Will Give You A Hint: It Wasn't On My Nose Or My Ear And It Was One Of My B***s."

Season 4, Episode 25 - "You May Now Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives"

Peter’s impulsivity is a hallmark of the series. The constant indulgence of his ‘stream-of-consciousness’ schemes drives the plot for many episodes. In Season 4, Episode 25, Peter accompanies Brian’s cousin Jasper to a piercing salon to celebrate his impending nuptials. Getting a first-time piercing is not something most people decide upon spontaneously, especially when it’s a particularly sensitive portion of the human anatomy.

Peter’s decision to do just that highlights his impulsiveness, as well as the series’ propensity to mention topics conventionally unmentionable on network television. Hilariously, Peter seems to be unwilling to explain where his last piercing was, but as he is describing where it isn't, he finally just blurts out where the spot was on his body -- and it is the last place that anyone would have wanted to hear about, to begin with.

17 "Bird Is The Word."

Season 7, Episode 2 - "I Dream of Jesus"

Indulging in shenanigans and beating a joke to death is par for the course on Family Guy, which is part of its unique appeal. Perhaps one of the most consistent gags occurred when Peter discovered the '60s song Surfin’ Bird by The Trashmen, resulting in one of the best Peter Griffin running gags. Obsessed, Peter would often set up some unsuspecting character with a “Haven’t you heard?” before he’d spontaneously break out into the song’s chorus and dance.

This seemingly happens whenever the opportunity arises, a repeat joke and singing performance, making the most popular music reference on Family Guy. Before appearing on the adult animated Fox comedy series, Surfin' Bird was mostly a running song played on the Dr. Demento Show, but it also had more punk roots as none other than The Ramones covered it and made it part of their live sets. Now, thanks to Family Guy, the song lives on for a new generation of fans.

16 "Shut Up, Meg."

Season 10, Episode 2 - "Seahorse Seashell Party"

The amount of vitriol and unabashed hatred Meg seems to engender in her entire family (and her father in particular) is equally disturbing, unwarranted, and hilarious. The Season 10 episode, “Seahorse Seashell Party,” reveals that the family’s animosity towards Meg serves as a way to channel their dysfunction in a way that won’t implode the family and cause its disintegration. That still hasn’t stopped Peter from treating Meg horribly.

Still, the funniest bit of Peter’s dumping on Meg is a perfectly timed, drawn-out, and disdainful, “Shut up, Meg,” which he’s uttered on many occasions. The best part of these moments is that, often, Meg is saying something comforting or questioning actions that her family have taken that are wrong in every way. The fact that Peter says this countless times as a way of dismissing every concern his daughter has is wrong, cruel, and often very funny in his delivery of the line.

15 "There's A Message In My Alpha-Bits. It Says 'Oooooo.'"

Season 1, Episode 6 - "The Son Also Draws"

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane establishes early on and emphatically that Peter's idiocy knows no bounds, setting the stage for some hilarious gags. A prime example of this early in the show's run comes from its very first season, which features Peter and Brian sitting at the kitchen table. Peter seems flabbergasted that his Alpha-Bits® have flashed him an ominous message of an extended "Ooooooo." To cap this off, Brian responds with an irritable "Those are Cheerios."

The nonchalant manner of this response indicates that the family dog puts up with quite a bit of Peter's naivety. For those unfamiliar with kids' cereals, Alpha-Bits used to be a breakfast cereal made by Post that had alphabet-shaped cereal bits. These were used to help kids learn more about letters, and it was often fun to arrange them into words while eating breakfast in the mornings. The fact that Peter is eating Cheerios, which are just circular cereal pieces, and thinks they are several letter "O"'s makes it even funnier.

14 "Let's Go Drink Until We Can't Feel Feelings Anymore."

Season 3, Episode 19 - "Stuck Together, Torn Apart"

A major Peter trope -- which is second only to his stupidity -- is his love of beer. It's no secret that the man enjoys throwing back some alcohol. One gem of a quote that further drives this home can be found in the show's third season, which features Peter's friends pulling up to his place in a police vehicle, ready to drink the night away. The quote Griffin delivers before ing his pals in the van has since become an iconic, meme-worthy line, even spawning Family Guy memorabilia featuring it.

The line also shows that Peter has more than one problem. Not only does he drink too much, and often to the point of ing out, but he tends to choose not to have feelings. While he has a love for Lois, he mostly ignores his kids and doesn't care what happens to them, he doesn't care about his job, and the only thing he does care about is getting so drunk that he doesn't care about anything -- and that even doesn't bother him.

13 "I'll Be Damned If I'm Gonna Be Lectured By A Pervert."

Season 3, Episode 22 - "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein"

Lois certainly isn't shy about calling out her husband's naive, insensitive, and immature ways. One such example comes from the fan-favorite Season 3 episode, "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," which contains one of the best Peter Griffin quotes. Lois remarks that Peter is acting like a child. His response? An absurd, yet uncharacteristically clever retort, explaining that this would make Lois a "pedophile."

He then caps off this silly zinger by walking out of the house and remarking that he won't be lectured by a pervert. It's a memorable moment that's emblematic of the show's more nuanced roots. These sort of lines play with the meanings of the dialogue in a way that critics often miss in Family Guy. The fact that Peter's defense of Lois saying he is acting like a child means that believes she is married to someone who acts like a child, is both childlike and somehow brilliant in its absurdity.

12 "We Took A Lot From The Simpsons."

Season 14, Episode 3 - "Guy Robot"

Many have critiqued Family Guy for its apparent parallels to another zany animated sitcom, The Simpsons. There are similarities between the respective family , the random wacky happenings and gags, and a dimwitted father at the forefront of it all. In a move that's both amusing and respectable, Seth MacFarlane and his team of writers acknowledge this head-on with a cheeky fourth wall bit. It features a drunken Peter collapsing on his bed and talking to Lois.

As those under the influence have been known to do, Peter hits her with some "real talk." It is also a fun line since there has been such a strong rivalry between The Simpsons and Family Guy that Fox even threatened the shows when they started making fun of each other too much. There was an episode where the two shows crossed over, but this was one more nuanced episode where Family Guy, through these Peter Griffin quotes, its that they owe a lot to the long-running animated series.

11 "I May Be An Idiot, But There's One Thing I'm Not Sir, And That Is An Idiot."

Season 5, Episode 3 - "Hell Comes to Quahog"

Family Guy often thrives on its sense of ironies, absurdities, and oxymorons. Being a prominent character and an unpredictable fool, Peter is naturally the vessel for many of these funny, ironic contradictions. While discussing a possible transaction with a sleazy used car salesman -- Griffin tries to maintain his dignity by making it clear he's not an idiot. Of course, in typical Peter fashion, he utterly fails in this by immediately contradicting himself in about the most amusing way possible.

What is great about Peter Griffin quotes like this is that he has no idea how he sounds to other people. Peter knows that he is an idiot, but he also defends himself in the most ludicrous way possible and shows that he remains clueless about his own stupidity when people look down on him. Peter will never beat himself up outwardly, but these lines show that something deep down inside knows the truth.