American Horror Story: Hotel remains divisive to this day. The fifth installment on the franchise is famous for giving Lady Gaga her first starring role, the showy and man-eating (literally) Countess. However, many fans disliked the season's other characters, some of whom came across as dumb and borderline nonsensical.
Indeed, many of the Hotel Cortez's guests weren't exactly the brightest bulbs in the box, and some made dumb choices that actively endangered them. However, a few did stand out because of their cunning and wit, driving the entire plot and giving audiences someone to root for during the vampire-centric season.
Alex Lowe
It was a tad ridiculous that a doctor would fall prey to the blood virus at the center of Hotel's plot. Alas, Alex Lowe is one of the season's least intelligent and most frustrating characters. Understandably, she would be devastated by her son's disappearance, but she had another child who she actively neglected.
Furthermore, she willingly contracted the virus to reunite with Holden, and what's worse, she infected a child without thinking of the severe consequences of her actions. Indeed, the child not only kills his mother, the principal, the doctors, and nurses but also infects several of his friends. Alex lacked common sense and only thought of herself, bringing misery to many other people.
John Lowe
Alex's husband, John, is no better. He has to be one of the least capable detectives in modern television, so bad at his job that he fails to see what's quite literally in front of him. Like his wife, he is very frustrating and commits a string of shockingly bad decisions.
John is also a terrible serial killer, and it's never clear why Mr. March considers him a "worthy" successor. Everyone manipulates him with ease, not only Mr. March but also Sally and even Alex. He seems to have no will of his own and only does what others tell him. Several things make no sense in Hotel, and John's dumb behavior is one of the most egregious.
Will Drake
Like all the other humans in the season, Will seems to be confusingly stupid. He ignores all the blatant red flags about the hotel and moves there with his child. The show tries to his lack of common sense for cynicism, but the facade fails after a few episodes.
To make matters worse, Will marries The Countess, even though she herself is a walking red flag. Once dead, he its he acted foolishly and becomes more astute, reviving his fashion career and finding success in his ghostly state. Overall, Will is better off as a ghost because at least he can see things clearly.
Donovan
Donovan isn't dumb, but his entire world revolves around the Countess. He doesn't care about anything or anyone else, not even himself. Indeed, he's willing to sacrifice everything for her, and he ultimately does. The show never takes the time to explain the reasons for his devotion, which can make him seem like a willing fool.
However, out of all the characters, he is the only one who understands the hotel's curse. He doesn't enjoy having the blood virus and has no desire to become a ghost, forever stuck in the Cortez. He has far more common sense than most other characters, even if he doesn't always show it.
Sally McKenna
Sally is one of Sarah Paulson's most unlikable roles in American Horror Story. Her addictions control every aspect of her ghostly existence. She can't think or act straight because her demons cloud her judgment, leading to some very questionable decisions. While still alive, Sally's addiction made her reckless and careless.
However, she's still clever enough to use others at will. Sally forges successful alliances with Mr. March and The Countess to maintain her way of life. She also manipulates John at will and shows enough savvy to become a social media star at the end of the season.
Ramona Royale
Ramona's blind desire to get revenge on the Countess often clouds her judgment. She foolishly trusts Donovan, then becomes a prisoner in the Cortez at the Countess' mercy. Once Iris and Liz free her, Ramona pursues the Countess again but fails to kill her. Instead, the Countess seduces her, and Ramona lets her.
Despite her exterior, Ramona might be more bark than bite. She constantly falls into traps and seems blind to the dangers around her. However, she successfully managed to survive for years, even with the blood virus, so she wasn't dumb. In the end, the Countess' hold on her was too firm to fight.
Iris
One of the few voluntary guests in the Cortez, Iris gets more agency than some other characters. She gets to come and go as she pleases but chooses to stay for her son, Donovan. Iris is clever enough to handle all the hotel's numerous inhabitants, from ghosts to vampires.
Iris also runs the hotel successfully, hiding the many ghosts and curses that plague it and turning it into a popular holiday destination. She may seem unassuming and harmless, but Iris is a real force to reckon with and one of Kathy Bates' most likable characters in American Horror Story.
James Patrick March
Mr. March was both brutal and brilliant. In life, he was an oil magnate who built his wealth thanks to his savvy and cunning. March became a serial killer and built the Cortez to hide his atrocities, successfully leading a double life and maintaining his pristine image in 1920s Los Angeles.
As a ghost, March maintained his ruthless behavior, becoming the Cortez' de facto leader after the Countess. March, a skilled manipulator, seduced or convinced other people into doing his will, including the many murderers that visit him every Devil's Night, John, Tristan, and Miss Evers.
Liz Taylor
Without a doubt, Liz Taylor is one of 's best female characters. She is witty, intriguing, and overall the most decent person in the entire hotel. She also has a great deal of emotional intelligence, and many other characters consider her a mentor.
Liz also shows business skills when she, along with Iris, turn the Cortez into a successful hotel. Liz navigates ghosts, vampires, and murderers throughout her years at the hotel, becoming friends with some of them. Her intellect showed off in subtler ways, but it's clear she was one of the hotel's most brilliant inhabitants.
The Countess
The Countess played with everyone around her and got away with it. She manipulated men and women alike, finding and exploiting their vulnerabilities. The Countess had a way of hiding her true intentions, revealing only the necessary information for others to do her will.
She successfully used Will, March, Donovan, Ramona, and many others, all while fooling the police and the world as a whole. The Countess also maintained her lavish lifestyle, evading scrutiny from outsiders and cementing her place as the season's most brilliant character.