It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has no shortage of memorable characters in its arsenal. Even just the five main characters are some of the most dynamic charismas in television, but none come close to the complexity (if that’s what we should call it) of Charlie Kelly.
In case you’re not fully aware of who Charlie is, at one point in the show he had never left Philadelphia, had never eaten a pear, and thought that the twist at the end of The Sixth Sense was that the guy in the toupee was Bruce Willis. Who would’ve thought that a dyslexic, cat food-eating, green-man-wearing, drink-chugging janitor would be one of the most entertaining people on television? Charlie may be the butt of many of the gang’s jokes, but he also is one of the most empathetic and quite honestly the only one who’s remotely a good person.
Performer Charlie Day has far and away had the most fruitful career since the show's inception, aside from maybe Danny DeVito, but that’s a completely different story. It could be because filmmakers have realized how talented Day is, but the writing and performance of the character have undoubtedly led to the actor’s success.
With such a complex character, there are bound to be a few things that plainly just don’t make sense. Picking apart a show as silly as this may seem pointless, but when a series airs for so long, it seems inevitable that its expert fans will catch plot holes, inconsistencies, and bogus science.
Let’s look at 20 Things That Make No Sense About Charlie.
20. He Hasn't Been Arrested for stalking the Waitress
Charlie isn’t as big with the ladies as Dennis is, but he does have one lovely lady on his mind-- constantly, in fact: The Waitress. Having gone to high school with the Gang, she has numerous restraining orders against Charlie since he consistently stalks her.
Even with these restraining orders in place, Charlie continues to purposely come into with the Waitress, often by pretty brutal actions, including pretending to be in recovery for addiction and also inviting her to an amateur play he had written only to propose to her. Charlie should probably have been arrested for many things throughout the show’s history, but this is far and away the most consistent and downright creepy.
19. He's fluent in Bird Law, but doesn't understand birds
In the season 11 episode “Moyle Vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century”, Charlie is Bill Ponderosa’s lawyer and is trying to get him acquitted of the charge of spiking the Moyle wedding’s milk and thus causing one of the Moyle siblings to stab the other in the eye. You know, typical wedding things.
Charlie uses his useless and random knowledge in Bird Law to try and get his defendant off the hook. The most curious thing is when Charlie seems to be quite articulate in the avian legal system. He then withdraws any bit of confidence when he is confused when the professor in birds he brought can’t "speak pigeon," which, of course, no one can.
18. He doesn't Know What Cottage Cheese Is
On more than a few occasions, Charlie has been told that he smells overwhelmingly of cheese. This is probably due to the the fact that he is known to eat cheese as a snack, particularly in extremely stressful situations.
Michael Keegan-Key makes a guest appearance as a game show host during the episode “The Gang Goes On Family Fight.” In the episode, Charlie is shown a bowl of cottage cheese and has absolutely no idea what the substance is but claims it as “an enticing bowl of white.” For someone who loves cheese and devouring it at the most inopportune times such as Charlie does, it’s pretty hard to believe that he wouldn’t have encountered cottage cheese in his life. That said, he had no idea what a pear was, so who knows.
17. He's strong enough to pull a pickup truck
Charlie’s diet and lifestyle would be deemed far from healthy by any healthcare professional. He often eats things that are thought to not be edible and does very minimal exercise, yet in the episode “Hundred Dollar Baby” he’s shown to have some pretty incredible talents.
Charlie is able to pull Mac and Dennis in a pickup truck, which on average weigh around 5,000 pounds without anything in their bed, while training to be an underground boxing contender. Mac and Dennis are awed by Charlie’s raw strength which will surely come in handy during his matches, but his dabbling in PEDs sadly ends Charlie’s boxing career before it ever began.
16. He can't be injured
In the same episode listed above, Mac and Dennis learn that what Charlie lacks in fighting technique he makes up for in endurance. They train Charlie to endure acts of violence by hitting him over the head with beer bottles and chairs to mimic the hits he’ll take in the ring.
That episode isn’t the only time that Charlie has survived something he probably shouldn’t have. In “Charlie Gets Crippled” he walks away after having Dennis hit him with his car and in “Gun Fever” he is quite literally shot in the head without any lasting consequences. Mac and Dennis have said that Charlie is virtually impossible to injure, and the evidence seems to have proven them right.
15. His brain still works
Sure, Charlie may not be able to a physical, but he is in relatively good shape when we consider the things he’s done. The substances that Charlie puts in his body should have stark consequences. These things include PEDs, copious amounts of drinking, glue, spray paint, regular paint, and an assorted variety of other substances.
Not only does he partake in these , but in the episode “A Very Sunny Christmas” we learn that Charlie’s dangerous glue-related habits formed at a young age; something that could cause severe brain damage. Charlie may not be the smartest on the bunch, but he’s far better off than he scientifically should be.
14. He's worn the same shoes for 13 years
Let’s assume that each season of It’s Always Sunny lasts a year, that means that Charlie Kelly has worn the same pair of shoes for 13 years! On Instagram Charlie Day took a picture of his infamous shoes with the caption, “Sunny season 13! I bought these kicks in 2004 and I’ve worn them in pretty much every Sunny episode since.”
Not only does this not make sense in of the show’s reality, but even in our reality; keeping a pair of sneakers intact for more than a decade is a darn near impossible task and an achievement that deserves recognition. The work that Charlie is seen doing in the show is quite disgusting at time, so these shoes have been through quite a lot and are maybe more tough than Charlie.
13. His fear of People’s Knees And Lizards
Charlie doesn’t seem to be afraid of many things, having come into with rat kings, leprechauns, criminals, and zombies. Two things Charlie is afraid of: people’s knees and Lizards, and your guess as to why is probably as good as anyone’s. In the episode “The Gang Gets Invincible” we learn of Charlie’s fear of lizards when Frank mistakes him for the amphibian while he’s dressed as Green Man. Charlie screams, “Where? Where? I hate Lizards!”
Similarly, while making an online dating profile for him in “The Waitress is Getting Married”, Mac and Dennis ask him some questions and learn that his favorite food is “milksteak,” his favorite hobby is magnets, his likes are ghouls, and most curiously his dislikes are people’s knees. He then demands to the duo, “Cover your knees if you’re gonna walk around in here.”
12. He was Not Jailed For Capturing A Leprechaun
Charlie’s crimes are pretty numerous, but few are as bad as the time he abducted and tormented a "Leprechaun" in hopes to be told where his pot of gold is. The man claims he isn’t the mythological creature but Charlie (and eventually Mac) refuse to believe him and begin to spray him with a hose and threaten him.
In Charlie’s defense, he had been drinking green paint all day since that’s how he thought you make beer green. Also in his defense, the man they believed to be a Leprechaun was actually a pickpocket who had been stealing wallets from Paddy’s for years. However, the law probably wouldn’t allow for such acts to be done to a mere pickpocket. It's another of the many times Charlie has somehow eluded jail.
11. How Does Charlie Not Know The Waitress’ Name?
You’d think that if someone were in love with a person so much they’d propose, they’d know their real name. That’s not the case with Charlie, who consistently refers to her as The Waitress. Many fans theorize he knows her name. He seems very upset when Dennis its he doesn’t know it and Charlie also has her listed as his emergency , but neither of these definitely prove he knows it since he solely calls her The Waitress.
Audiences thought they had learned it in the episode “High School Reunion”, when Frank sneaks into the reunion by stealing the name-tag of Nikki Potnick. The Waitress then shows up and claims that they didn’t have her name-tag at the desk. Viewers claimed they solved the mystery, though Glenn Howerton revealed on Twitter that the Waitress is not Nikki Potnick.
